I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
