I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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