Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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