marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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