You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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