i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
