she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
