i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
we should paint friendship bongs
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
