I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
