wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
