I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
