So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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