It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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