So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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