worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
