You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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