just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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