who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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