The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
How external is "for external use only"?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
