theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
