I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Banned from zoo.
Again?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
