Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
