Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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