Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
