Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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