you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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