Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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