i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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