Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Randomize
