is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
BRING THE BAGELS
Randomize
