I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
