She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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