I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
home. puking in laundry basket.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize