I never want to see another naked old woman again.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
