Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
