there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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