Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
