I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize