I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Randomize
