:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
