Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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