The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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