We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
