the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
