Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
