If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
