i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
