my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You've changed since you got that strap on
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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