YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
last night I used snow as a chaser
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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