i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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