I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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