so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
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