Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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