i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
