areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
