I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
