So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
