how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
