But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
